2013 Mall Of Africa Attack
The Mall of Africa was a gigantic super mall in Eastern Europe, that had a Move Theater with 5 screening rooms, 2 large kitchens with a connecting 5 Star resturant as well as the run of the mill clothing stores and food courts. Wrestler Gathering. In July of 2013 Wrestlers from of various generations got together at the mall to watch the opening of "The Notebook 2:Fuck You" Directed and straring Hig-Life. The Wrestlers in attendence ranged from Sgt.Slaughter, The Big Bossman, Jake Roberts, The Ultimate Warrior, Hulk Hogan and Rob Conway just to name a few. An hour before the screening Conway was fucking around in the kitchen area, watching a 4-foot'-7 Homosexual Asian man cook noodles for 45 minutes, he wandered around the kitchen looking at all the pans and was stuck by the yellow and green Asparagus sticks that were duct taped to the door of an oven, he asked the midget cook what were they in amazment, but the cook just looked back at him confused and said something in Chinese which visibly depressed Conway and to "Get back at him" Conway walked over to him and turned his stove off, the cook yelled in Chinese and flipped the switch back on, but Conway would keep turing it back off, this continued until The Big Bossman came in with his nightstick and Riot Gear and said in a calm, soft voice "Hey buddy, we're getting ready to watch The Notebook but the screener won't start until we are all here" Rob Conway and The Big Bossman head over to the theater but Conway makes a brief detour to the bathroom but once he's inside he is confused at the lack of actual toilets and disgusted at the single, long piss troth ahead of him, with the only apparent working stall taken, he has no choice but to forgoe his shyness and piss in the troth, but after he's done pissing, he feels an incredible pain go through his colon and up to his dick. Before he knows it he has to shit through his dick and collapses in pain afterwards. As he lays on the ground in extreme pain, Hulk Hogan comes in shaking his hands around like his wrestlemania Entrance and sees Conway on the ground, he double takes and starts holding his hand up to his ear in every direction in the room before pointing at him and doing the "Cut Throat" Taunt. He runs back against the stall door to "DROP THE LEG BROTHER" but the stall door can't support his weight and he falls through it and lands on top of Gabe Valentine, who freaks out and yells at him. Conway quickly gets to his feet and runs out of the bathroom once he gets in Bossman walks up to him again and says in his soft voice "Hey, Sgt.Slaughter ran out to get a few drinks but he hasn't come back yet and we can't convince the screener to start the movie anyway so can you go try to find him please?" Conway agrees and heads out to find him, he searches the first floor area but can't find him, he goes up to the second floor and walks passed the Bass Pro shop outfitter and finds him arguing with a guy behind the counter at the Soda fountain. Conway runs up and overhears Sarge yell "I GAVE THE OTHER GUY 5 BUCKS NOW I WANT MY FRUIT SMOOTHIE YOU PUKE, YOU FAGGOT" Conway says "Sarge, we need to go to the theater, the screener won't let us watch shit without you" Sgt.Slaughter replies "NO FUCK YOU, I WANT MY GOD DAMN FRUIT SMOOTHING, THIS MOTHER FUCKER WON'T GIVE ME ANY" The clerk interjects "WE DON'T SELL SMOOTHIES HERE ASSHOLE" This sends Slaughter into a rage and he and he starts whipping the shit out of the clerk with a "Nigga Whip" Conway has to try and pull him off to get him to stop before the security guards come but before he stops whipping him the grabs a handfull of icecream and runs away with Conway. They all pack into the screening room and get ready for what Bossman calls "Hig-Life's latest attempt to piss off God" Terrorist Attack. While all the wrestlers were Watching The Notebook, European Terrorists attacked the mall took everyone that wasn't in the theater hostage, After the movie everyone wandered around the mall unaware of what happened and a few got captured, Rob Conway had to run away from them to avoid capture at least 5 times and Sgt.Slaugther got kidnapped 3 times but broke out every single time. After 3 hours of wandering around the mall Conway ended up in an office room with all the staff hogtied with duct tape over their mouths and tinfoil all over them, they were in direct view of him but he didn't acknowledge them and tried to get directions from the stunned terrorists who didn't try to kidnap him or kill him until he glanced at one of the hogtied hostages which caused all the terrorists to jump up and start shooting at him, Conway managed to avoid their shots and ran around the upper floors to try and get away from them, he broke through a window and climbed the ledge to another room to throw them off his track and there he found a room with a stage in the middle of it and felt like he had just gone back into the 50's and could hear faint lounge singer ghosts singing. He was visted by the ghost of Leslie Neilsen who give him advice that Conway couldn't use and left, When Conway left the room he felt like a large period of time had passed and the fact that everything in the mall seemed fine and there was no sign of the terrorists or anyone for that matter strenghtened that theory. he went over to the Bass Pro shop outiftter and got into a minot Feud with Former Wrestler and full time Satanist Kevin Sullivan when Sullivan tried to take all the clothes Conway tried to grab, this went on for 30 minues until they both gave up and tried to leave the mall. When they got outside they find out that literally all hell has broken loose and now there are demons and zombies running around the burning city. Kevin Sullivan died instantly and Conway had to fight his way to safety with a old WWII Rifle and a crowbar he found on the ground he takes shelter in an abandoned auto shop to wait out the night. In the morning, he was trapped inside by these horrible "Tongue-like" Monsters that were hanging from the ceiling and a hord of mutants were shambling over to him from the alleyway, since he used up nearly all of his ammo the previous night he knew he couldn't fight them off and had to try and escape, with the auto shop being overrun with tenticle monsters and abomanations blocking off the other end, he has no choice but to climb up the fire escape next to him and climb up to the roof of the super mall, he then heads inside and finds that the mall has been taken over by a satanic cult with the leader "Bob Semens" Giving speeches over the PA system. Category:Incidents Category:Locations